strength will find you sooner, then you ever thought it would
I’m overly content with life right now and it’s a really lovely feeling. I’ve worked for so long to find some sort of happiness when it’s been surrounding me the whole time. That I was in my own circle of denial while the outside of these walls were held together with the joy I wished to reach. I’m comforted by the way my shoulders crack as I stretch in the morning; the sound of rain as it just starts, and the wave between a drizzle and a pour; the feeling of air entering my lungs and the relaxation of exhaling; the way my bare feet feel pressed against the earth; my little sister’s smile; my mom’s hugs; the feeling of my skin against bed sheets; the silhouette of a tree against the sky; I’m happy. I love. I’m enthralled with human beings, and I want to meet and know what makes each and every one of them ache. I want to dance. I want to lift people up from their darkest times. Sadness. It’s important to feel it, to work through it, not to mask it with distractions, but to fully experience the pain. To make it through these moments and be hugged by contentment. I want you to feel what this feels like. I want you to find these emotions. I want you to live fully. I think I’m finally getting there, and I’m content.
For every positive step we are taking in the direction towards equality as a people, we are taking two steps backwards in other areas of discrimination and injustice. People are recognizing LGBTQ people as people (what a concept) and fighting for their rights with a very loud voice, but we have people getting involved in unwanted physical altercations due to their religious preferences and cultural aesthetics. We have people being forcibly removed from places due to head-wear or facial hair or skin color just because someone feels “uncomfortable” in the presence of these normal things. And all the while, we still have states and countries fighting for laws to legalize discrimination and refusal of services based on things out of the control of the individual, as if we have a choice in who we love or what we feel. Cultures are being segregated instead of celebrated. Change is rejected. The Police are getting more and more power with each passing day. The voice of the people is diminishing at an alarming rate, despite the fact that our numbers are growing. Cities are on fire. People are dying. Civilizations are crumbling. Governments are taking over, and the people don’t have the means to fight back. Our oceans are poisoned. Our wildlife is disappearing. Forests have vanished. Temperatures are rising. I take three steps back and I see a World ready to go to war with itself, and for the first time in my life, I fear for mine.
things are really bad again and I don’t know what to do this time; I’ve eroded down too far.